Artless Gamer

About things that aren't in the manual!

GotW: Bad Game Critics

Posted by Artless Gamer On December - 9 - 2009ADD COMMENTS

trollI haven’t really had any particular gripes of note, lately. With games like Assassins Creed 2 and Modern Warfare 2 occupying most of my Xbox gaming time in recent days, I found it a bit hard to sit down and complain about essentially meaningless things. This little gem of a user review, however, prompted me to post a response. The following quote contains a brief user review of Call of Duty: Modern Warfare, the predecessor of the recently released Infinity Ward title Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2:

The first Modern Warfare was fairly generic. I had always wondered why people went “OMFG EPIC LOLZ” about it. Sure, it was kinda innovative, and kinda unique, but when you get right down to it, you went from map to map, place to place, ducking behind cover long enough to heal, kill as many more enemies as you can before hitting near-death, ducking and healing, and basicly repeating the process.

This has to be the most generic, most unthoughtful and most dilettantish way to judge a game. Just about any game can be be broken down to its individual components and made look simpler or more boring than it actually is by judging it by its basic functions as a video game.

For instance:

Super Mario: Just run to the left or the right, jump on enemies and avoid the pitfalls until you reach the flag. Every few levels you fight a boss. Rinse, repeat.

Final Fantasy VII-X: You stand on one side of a screen taking turns hitting each other until someone falls over. Also cut scenes.

Burnout 3: Drive really really fast and crash into things.

Lost: They wander around an island for a long time.

You could continue this kind of game reviewing ad nauseam with any game imaginable. It is not a valid way to analyze a game and never has been. Even Pong doesn’t deserve to be viewed in that way despite it being one of the most simple incarnations of any video game. If I had to classify these kinds of reviews, I’d probably call it trolling. Or mom and pop didn’t get them the game for Christmas and now it obviously has to be a shitty game.

Popularity: 30% [?]

Dead Space 2 Announced for Xbox 360, PS3 and PC

Posted by Artless Gamer On December - 7 - 2009ADD COMMENTS

dead-space-extraction-wiiAfter a long time of rumors, hinted at, teased and talked about for months. Now it is finally official. EA has announced Dead Space 2. All platforms will benefit from this long awaited title and as such Xbox 360, PS3 and PC gamers alike will be able to enjoy this second installment of this much loved title.

Not much else can be said about this new release. We don’t have an exact release date yet and the game hasn’t been rated by the ESRB or PEGI, either. Executive Producer of Dead Space 2, Steve Papoutsis, promises plot twists that will surprise gamers and has had this to say about the new release:

Hero Isaac Clarke returns for another heart-pounding adventure, taking the fight to the Necromorphs in this thrilling action-horror experience. New tools to gruesomely slice and dismember the Necromorphs complement Isaac’s signature Plasma Cutter, empowering him as he meets new characters, explores epic Zero-G environments, and fights against a relentless necromorph onslaught. Survival isn’t the only thing on Isaac’s mind in Dead Space 2 – this time, he calls the shots.

Further information about the game can be found by clicking here.

Popularity: 31% [?]

EA To Release Mirror’s Edge 2

Posted by Artless Gamer On December - 2 - 20091 COMMENT

Mirror's EdgeAt first I had my doubts that anything big would leave EA’s gigantic publishing factory any time soon. Recent announcements of massive lay-offs have painted a dark picture of the company’s financial situation and with 1500 employees less, the company seems to be significantly weakened. The company justified this by calling it a move to “narrow the product portfolio to provide greater focus on titles with higher margin opportunities”. Why not just call it saving money?

Despite the disheartening news, it seems like EA are still planning to go ahead with some rather high profile titles. DICE’s senior lighting artist Oscar Carlén, included the title Mirror’s Edge 2 in his list of games for his 2009-Present portfolio.

As soon as the news about this spread, however, he removed the entry.

When EA published the first title for Mirror’s Edge I played both the demo and the full version. While the game concept was fresh and exciting, the full release version was very underwhelming in terms of actual game play delivery. The first title was plagued with many issues, including an exaggerated camera motion feature that made a lot of gamers “motion sick”. Aside from the motion sickness, the game didn’t really blow me away. It was short, didn’t expand and ended up being a bland experience that tasted more of an early experiment for a concept to be worked on in the future.

Players can now hope that the second installment of the game will be a more fleshed out and gripping experience than the first one.

Popularity: 37% [?]

Assassin’s Creed II DLC Announced

Posted by Artless Gamer On December - 2 - 20091 COMMENT

assassins-creed-2The early months of 2010 are currently looking to be very exciting. Aside from the PC launch of the game in Q1 of 2010, the first two DLCs will be released by Ubisoft in both January and February.

Each of the new content units will require 1GB of HDD space and that looks to us like quite a large expansion to the game. After being sorely disappointed by short-lived and low-impact DLC in Fable 2, Assassin’s Creed II promises to be worth every penny spent on it.

The January DLC will be titled Battle of Forli, and the February DLC release will run under the title Bonfire of the Vanities. Exact release dates or DLC pricing have not been announced, yet. I am guessing, however, that the price point will be somewhere around 1600 MS Points, considering the size of each DLC.

Popularity: 39% [?]

The Amazing DirectX 11

Posted by Artless Gamer On November - 19 - 2009ADD COMMENTS

DirectX 11, or correctly named Direct3D 11, was first revealed by Microsoft at Gamefest 08 in Seattle. It comes with GPGPU support and a whole other range of snazzy tech features that will make PC gaming even more expensive than ever before. First and foremost, however, it is supposed to help deliver a whole new generation of visually stunning computer entertainment. We can only imagine the panicking waves of kids running into stores looking for a better graphics card, more ram and … well, if you’re already at it, how about a new motherboad, new CPU and … oh forget it. Just fork over all your money and take this whole new PC.

Perhaps I exaggerate, but looking at this amazingly pretty video, I can’t help but think that my current machine, which isn’t much older than a year, won’t be able to handle this kind of stuff.

Still, those are absolutely stunning graphics. I can’t add much more to this, I suppose. Though, I am somewhat torn between video and music – which one of the two is more enchanting? Does anyone know who composed the music?

If you’d like to view this video in its intended wide format, just view it again directly on YouTube. Enjoy over and over again.

Update: Should have looked in the credits of the video for the musician. The score to the demo is by Mike Kondratyev. Nice.

Popularity: 64% [?]

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Artless Gamer is actually a team of two inept gamers. We aren’t really good at any particular game but we have plenty of opinions to share with regular gamers just like us. During our humble beginnings on this blog we try our best to focus on news and tips that revolve around the little things in gaming that gamers often can not find in manuals. Too often does it happen that people face issues that aren’t quickly resolved by a look at the instruction manuals. We try to capture those issues and provide a solution for easy access.

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